Weed Shirts For The Discriminating Stoner

These days, stoner clothes exist on a broad and whacky spectrum. Weed t-shirts are everywhere now as America warms up, state by state, to marijuana legalization. You could almost say there now exists a distinct stoner clothing style for every personality type, with companies making cute stoner girl clothes, weed shirts for intellectuals, for zaddies, hippie t-shirts--a literal galaxy of fun and funny weed shirts. Here we review but a few of the best examples of stoner t-shirts.

Because I Got High Graffiti Stoner T-Shirt

Because I Got High T-Shirt
This stoner shirt blames it all on the buzz, bro, while harkening back to the famous sing-songy weed rap anthem. This slogan admits that weed’s influence can be positive, negative, or just plain confusing. For example, you may ask yourself: Why did I order these sturdy, well-designed stoner t-shirts off an obscure website at 2am? Answer: Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiigh.

Geisha Getting Stoned T-Shirt

Japanese Retro Art Two Geisha Getting Stoned
This dark-eyed stoner girl’s clothes announce her as oblique--whatever that word means. Did Japanese geishas really smoke fat bowls of weed, as this weed shirt suggests? The answer may lie in the Japanese writing on this stoner shirt: a combination of traditional logographic kanji, and syllabic kana. Um, what? Oblique. 

Retro 70's Freshly Baked T-Shirt

Freshly Baked Weed T-Shirt
You’ll turn heads, or not, with this funny weed t-shirt that is perhaps most funny if you yourself are freshly baked. In a freshly baked state, and wearing this soft cotton stoner t-shirt, you’re guaranteed to feel both warm and toasty. In this freshly baked state, the word “Freshly” sounds super weird if you repeat it like 20 times lol.

Healthcare THC T-Shirt

THC Healthcare Medical Marijuana T-Shirt
Did you ever notice that the word “healthcare”—an important word bandied about daily in intense political debates—has the initials THC plopped down right in the middle of it? That can’t be a coincidence, bro! These stoner shirts appropriate the Caduceus medical iconography with which we’re all familiar, but tints the famous entwined snakes and their wings green--not coincidentally, the same exact color as weed. This funny stoner short is also quite serious, as weed legally becomes a tool in the fight against opioid addiction, among the many other medicinal uses of marijuana.

I Just Want To Fish And Smoke Weed All Day T-Shirt

I Just Want To Fish And Smoke Weed All Day T-Shirt
When the wind on the lake or the ocean is calm enough that you can light a fat doob, then smoking weed while fishing can be sublime. So long as you ain’t drivin’ the boat, fishing and weed go together like chocolate and peanut butter. And yet, some folks might laugh when you wear stoner clothes expressing this absolutely true sentiment in simple basic lettering—making this, technically, a funny weed t-shirt, for the outdoorsy set.

Be A Mary Jane Weed T-Shirt

In A World Full Of Karens Be A Mary Jane T-Shirt
The genre of cute stoner girl clothes spans from hippie t-shirts, to shirts that could make even a goth girl laugh. Goths, like the one pictured here, are not known for their laughter! A “Karen,” on the other hand, is an entitled white woman who asks to speak your manager at the slightest provocation. And Mary Jane, as we all know, is that lady with whom Tom Petty danced. Mary Jane is also code for (you guessed it) weed. All this to say: Wear this stoner shirt, and you’ll be telling Karen she needs to just spark a doob and chill, bro.

Keep One Rolled T-Shirt

Keep One Rolled Weed T-Shirt
Wear this hippy weed shirt to the next party you attend if you’re desiring to, in traditional psychedelic, acid-head lettering, announce yourself as the go-to guy for party-starting. Little known fact: During the 60s, this flowerchild font was legally mandated for all school textbooks, and government documents.

Joker Toker Midnight Smoker Vintage T-Shirt


Joker Smoker Midnight Toker Weed T-Shirt
‘Daddy smokes kind bud, listens to classic rock, and stays up past his bedtime despite his age,’ states this shirt referencing a famous weed anthem. As the accompanying photo proves, this sturdy cotton shirt will not rip if you have a lot of muscles or brillo pad body hair. 

Colorful THC Molecule T-Shirt


THC Molecule Weed T-Shirt
Weed: It’s not just for dude-bros and dropouts anymore! Even the intelligent STEM set (read: nerds) be smokin' these days. This shirt subtly explains the chemical breakdown of tetrahydrocannabinal, known casually to its friends as THC. Dummies will read this stoner shirt and not even know you’re a pothead. Just don’t wear it around your science teachers.

Mary Jane Pop Art T-Shirt

Mary Jane Pop Art Weed T-Shirt
Young people who missed the 1960s can pretend they’re living in a VW bus on Haight Ashbury with this hippy weed shirt. The psychedelic lettering on this cute stoner shirt harkens back to Woodstock, and the Free Love era, when the world first began learning that marijuana had magical powers--such as making The Grateful Dead at all enjoyable.

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